I saw a dead bird today. It was ok.

I've noticed (or perhaps made up in my head) now that we have a Super Wal-Mart, the fellow shoppers have gotten really fucking weird looking. I don't really have any examples but I was there yesterday and I remember thinking "Wow...what a strange looking person." and then a few steps later, "He's a weirdo, too." the next aisle down, "What the fuck is up with Wal-Mart consumers today? Is there anyone normal here?" Case still unsolved.

I did notice another, less judgmental, thing though. The frozen foods section has the most sophisticated technology ever. Actually, they just have light sensors, but leave it to Super Wal-Mart to make everything look superer (I can say 'superer' if I want, just in case you were wondering about that). Discovery of said light sensors lead to me strutting down the frozen entrees aisle, throwing my arms out at each cooler in a witch-like fashion, commanding them to light up. However, these sensors are quite smart and see a shopper coming a few feet away and turn on before you get there (how convenient for people who don't wish to pretend they are magically controlling the lights) so of course I had to do this whole routine at a bit of a run. As you would imagine, managing to look cool while running and strutting is a difficult feat. A feat conquered by moi.

You may ask, as others have, is this the only way to shop in the frozen foods section of Wal-Mart? The answer, my friends, is no. It is, however, the only way to do it with pizazz.