Stop staring at me, Beckhams...

I've just realized that after going through all the trouble to find this creepy ad on google, I've saved it to my computer to post it here and now every time I open up my pictures folder, these fucking people will keep staring at me like that. Exactly what I don't want. I don't think it's possible to convey how uncomfortable this photo makes me. Kudos to the photog- I guess that's good if you can make the person looking at the picture squirm because it's just so gosh darn intense but come-the-fuck-on! (a phrase usually reserved for my computer or people who are being slow)

Stop fucking staring at me.

I saw a dead bird today. It was ok.

I've noticed (or perhaps made up in my head) now that we have a Super Wal-Mart, the fellow shoppers have gotten really fucking weird looking. I don't really have any examples but I was there yesterday and I remember thinking "Wow...what a strange looking person." and then a few steps later, "He's a weirdo, too." the next aisle down, "What the fuck is up with Wal-Mart consumers today? Is there anyone normal here?" Case still unsolved.

I did notice another, less judgmental, thing though. The frozen foods section has the most sophisticated technology ever. Actually, they just have light sensors, but leave it to Super Wal-Mart to make everything look superer (I can say 'superer' if I want, just in case you were wondering about that). Discovery of said light sensors lead to me strutting down the frozen entrees aisle, throwing my arms out at each cooler in a witch-like fashion, commanding them to light up. However, these sensors are quite smart and see a shopper coming a few feet away and turn on before you get there (how convenient for people who don't wish to pretend they are magically controlling the lights) so of course I had to do this whole routine at a bit of a run. As you would imagine, managing to look cool while running and strutting is a difficult feat. A feat conquered by moi.

You may ask, as others have, is this the only way to shop in the frozen foods section of Wal-Mart? The answer, my friends, is no. It is, however, the only way to do it with pizazz.